![]() What they might actually be doing, however, is smothering you and roping you into a symbiotic relationship. You, as their child, are forced into either an ‘it’s me and you against the world’ dynamic, or ‘it’s you against me’.Ĭontrolling parents with fearful tendencies believe they are protecting you and take pride in their role as your guardian. While they are fiercely protective of their own family members, they are suspicious of those they consider to be ‘outsiders’. In order to find certainty in an unpredictable world, they may subscribe to conspiracy theories, superstitions, fundamentalist religion or cults. The world is split into the good camp and the bad camp people are divided between the tyrants and the tormented, the blamers and the blamed, the persecutors and the persecuted. Under stress, controlling parents with fearful and paranoid tendencies psychologically regress to a black-and-white mode of thinking. As a result, they misperceive reality and assume hostility from others when there is none. They over-analyse everything and assume people have ulterior motives. Not only do they have mind-filters that pay selective attention to danger, but they also habitually catastrophise and imagine only worst-case scenarios. They live in a state of constant vigilance, always on the verge of paranoia. To parents with fearful and controlling tendencies, the world is a threatening place. In the following paragraphs, we will focus on discussing the characteristics of parents who tend to be ‘fearful and controlling’, whose hyper-defensive behaviours are mostly driven by their fears of the world and their inability to tolerate vulnerability.Ĭontrolling Parents are Anxious and Paranoid Some controlling parents express their underlying fears through aggression, or by being highly critical, others by acting fragile or needy. Not all controlling parents present with the same set of behaviours. Their unregulated and overwhelming angst will spill over into a tendency to over-control, affecting their children in invisible but long-lasting ways. For some parents, however, a traumatic past or personality limitations stop them from being the best caregivers they can be. ![]() They take conflicts personally, very rarely apologise and it is almost impossible to disagree with them without receiving a forceful backlash.Īnxiety is a normal part of parenting. They struggle with true intimacy and can be extremely defensive. Steps To Free Yourself From Controlling ParentsĬontrolling parents tend to be anxious, paranoid and possessive. ![]() Controlling Parents Cannot Regulate Their Emotions. ![]() Controlling Parents are Anxious and Paranoid. ![]()
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